Sometimes vaginas just get up and leave.

The Miss Cleo mystery has been solved. Who's Miss Cleo, you ask. You might remember her from episodes such as "Ringworms, Roundworms, what's the difference?" and "Devious dawgs and sleeping squirrles (the remix edition)." Ok, so since you don't, she's the cat that I fell in love with almost 2 years ago down in Florida who disappeared mysteriously while I was gone on vacation. Weeks later, Bob the tractor man revealed that a dog got a hold of her and then she ran off to die.

What you didn't hear is what I heard last night. I went out with my boy Adam who got drunk and slipped up. "Yeah, Nev, it was like that time in Florida when I back my Explorer up after it had been sittin in the field for a week and found Miss Cleo's swollen corpse...." My jaw dropped. "What are you talkin about?!" "What, Nev, you didn't know? I thought we told you. You didn't know? Oh shit."

Turns out that Miss Cleo got attacked and then a few days later (while I was still on vacation) Adam discovered her. I had told him to take care of her, that he was responsible for her, and to feed her. Apparently he forgot to feed her for two days so when he found her body, he thought he had killed her. What would be the most logical thing to do when you find a dead cat? Get a shovel, scoop it up, and drive it to the nearest swamp so it can be gator food would be the correct answer to that question.

Fuuuuuuuuuck Robert.