A wedgie story

This one's for the girls. The other day I went blue jeans shopping. Like any normal girl, this is a dreaded ordeal. I don't like shopping. And I like fashion even less.

Some reasons I think fashion is a crock:

• It's expensive. A fashionable bathing suit will cost you over $100. I could get a roll of duck tape for $1.50 and cover more of my body than those damn things.
  

• Your entire wardrobe goes out of style every season (I still haven't figured out how many seasons there are per year but I'll get there one day) so you have to buy new shit all the time.
  

• 10 years down the road, all of the clothes you bought for a particular season and then threw away are back in style and you have to go out and re-buy them.
  

• In the fashion industry, sexy looks like this:
  

Do I really have to say the obvious?

• And the number one reason I think fashion is a crock is because 9 times out of 10, what's considered trendy is, in my humble opinion, ugly as sin: crocks--those plastic burkinstock looking things, whatever those snow-boots are that girls wear in july, the current under-the-boob-belt, that shit jane of the jungle is wearing in that picture up there, and the list goes on.
  

I'm not sitting here trying to say that I don't like to dress up. And I'm definitely not saying that I don't love Sex and the City. I just make my own way through the world in my own clothes that don't make me look like a fool to folks outside of runway world. Granted, I have a best friend who informs me of things like, "Only dweebs wear ankle-length tights," and saves me from embarassment (I'd hate to look like a dweeb).

So how did jean shopping go? Better than expected. After going to a department store and having to try on pants that were two sizes bigger than what I normally wear (I haven't gained weight), and getting fed up with those ugly ass skinny jeans and jeans that come with holes in them (wtf?), we headed to Maurices. Girls, Maurices has its own brand of jeans. A brand of jeans designed for women, not manaquins. Women are suppose to have curves and the genius designer that Maurices has apparently paid attention in fashion school and understands that. I actually fit into a size smaller than I normally wear. And they're not expensive--I got 2 pairs for under $50. The girl who helped me wasn't one of those clerks who says something looks great on you even if you can't get the zipper up, your cellulite is blindingly obvious, and the color makes you look like a corpse--she told me that one of the cuts made me look like I had a wedgie. And I laughed really hard, thanked her for being honest, and got the other pair. So, if you're in the market for some new blue jeans and there's a Maurcies near you, go check it out.