I'm losing my mind, I swear

So apparently the theme of my life lately is clumsiness. I'm a total klutz. Last week, in a drunken stupor, one of the guys I worked with picked me up, lost his balance, and dropped me on the corner of the (wooden) armrest of the couch. The dark purple, hand-sized bruise is just now starting to fade. A couple days ago, we were playing this game (we play lots of games here at work....they're examples for kids. Awesome.) where you run back and forth across the room. The room is painted like a forest--pretty camoflague with all sorts of greens and trees everywhere. There's also a thermostat in the room, but it's covered with a clear plastic box so little kids can't turn the temperature up to 102 or whatever. And the clear plastic is also really good when you're hauling ass across the room at full speed and your face happens to collide with the box. And finally, yesterday I dropped a canoe flat on my finger. I seriously smashed my finger hard core. It might not sound all that bad, but it hurt like hell. I'm battered and bruised. But I'm still a badass bitch (or BAB).