Contemplatin...

With 17 other co-workers, it's surprising how little gossiping goes on around here. I'm not saying I've never said anything about folks, but I try to keep it to a minimum--I just let it out when I realize I might explode if I don't do it soon.

Being not-quiet-freshly-single, I get asked sometimes by various folks at work if I'm lookin for the next-Mr-Nevena. Truthfully, no. Do I miss having that special somebody? Yeah. But, for the most part, I'm good with being single. I'm not up for dating random guys or getting into relationships that are headed for dead ends. I've got better things to do with my time, I figure.
I also get asked if I'm ready to settle down. I think that's kind of a silly question since I'm single. I want to be ready to settle down. I'm not sure I am, though. And really, a husband might be necessary to settle down in the terms they mean.

So I've been thinking a lot about what is it that makes a relationship sustain 10, 30, 45, 50 years of marriage. I think back to who I was 5 years ago compared to who I am today. I'm really not much of the same person. There's no way I could still be married to a person I would have gotten married to when I was 19. So how to people work it? At a resturant in Charleston on Saturday night I watched a couple at the table next to us--they looked like they were in their mid-thirties and had two little boys. They didn't talk to each other very much but at the same time weren't rude to one another. They didn't really seem to say much when the mom left with the sons while the dad paid. But it wasn't like they were fighting. It was just the normal everyday way of doing things. And I couldn't figure out if it was just their personalities, if they were tired, or if romance and passion check themselves at the door of a couples 5th anniversary.

It's not like I need candle light and roses at dinner every night. I'm not a die-hard romantic, really. But what girl doesn't love being swept off her feet from time to time? So I'm not delusional in terms of that. But I need somebody I can have fun with and have things to say to him even when I'm 70 and we've been together for several decades. I need somebody to be silly with. I've known Rebecca for 20 years and we still have a blast together.

Working these seasonal jobs gives me the opportunity to meet lots of people. I've gotten pretty close with some of the girls I've worked with here at the ROCK for the last 7 months, but sometimes I'd do anything to just be back home around the people who know me the best. It's like I have the best time around my closest friends. I think a marriage should be the same--you shouldn't get bored with, use to, or take your partner for granted. I think the best friend thing is pretty analogous to the husband/wife thing.

Thinkin back on me and Rebecca's relationship the road looks kind of like what I figure a marriage would look like. We've had mostly good travelin, but we've had some culverts wash out on us, too. But we stuck it out. I love her completely. And I've learned not to judge her or form my opinion on what I think she should or should not do. I wasn't always like that. I think I had to grow into being like that or we might not still be as close as we are today.

I'm not sure what the secret of a lasting relationship is, but I do know that it doesn't include any jamaquacks.