Pip will grow up one day

Yesterday afternoon, 6 of us girls sat around the kitchen table and had some quality women time. It's so sad to think that we only have 4 weeks left together and then we're all going to scatter to the winds again. Seasonal work sucks sometimes. We've spent the last 8 months together, and I've made some really close friends. We're all from different backgrounds and states. They're not the same kind of people I'm usually friends with, but I love them for it. It's just amazing how fast all this time has gone by.

Anyway, I have 3 roomates and we all have our roles in the household: Mandy is the diplomat, Kara is the keel (she keeps us steady), Tess is the analyist, and I'm the comedian. We have an awesome dynamic. Megan and Corrine are our honorary roomates. Anyway, Tess, being the analyst, is always pointing out really intriguing things about all of us. She's actually taught me a lot about myself: that I like to be in control, that I talk about relationships a lot, that I have a whole bunch of different sides, etc etc.

Relationships do intrigue me beyond belief. It's because they don't make any sense at all. Boys don't make sense. I like to understand things (see? control.). I mean, I get that there are things that I'll never understand like the meaning of life or what really happens when you die or why cows lay on their backs with their legs straight in the air when they get struck by lightning. But non-platonic relationships, in my opinion, should make sense. Or at least, that's what I use to think. Now I figure understanding an old relationship won't fix anything. The relationship, regardless of what happened or why, is over. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it. So why waste my time?

And boys make little to no sense either. Well, in a way they do. I've wondered a lot about what makes a grown up either a man or women. Where do we transfer from being a girl or boy to a full-fledged adult. I'm not sure about what makes a girl a women but I think I've finally pegged what makes a boy a man. To me, boys are emotionally lazy and predictable. A man, on the other hand, developes from predictable to dependable--where his word truly means something to him. And a man can also swallow the pride of complete independence and become emotionally vulnerable.

Looking back, all the 'bad' things that have happened in the last year or so have actually been blessings in disguise. They've all lead to me slowly becoming my own person. I've down-played my own talents and felt self-conscious around boys this whole time. I was in a bad 3 year relationship where I was emotionally abused the whole time and then I was in a more-fulfilling 2-year relationship with a guy who will one day be a good man. Five years of being perceived in a certain way and trying to live up to what I thought was someone else's expectations. I tried to act how I thought they wanted me to. And now that I'm free of those expectations, I've realized I'm not who I thought I was. I have so much to offer to other people and myself. What I thought were other peoples dreams and desires are actually my own. For the first time I feel like a strong, independent, complete person with more blessings than I could ever hope to count. And I now know that I deserve someone who sees all that with 20/20 clarity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for that special somebody. Being single is exactly what I need.

Jerry Maguire is a great movie. It really is. But the "you complete me" part is bullshit. That kind of thinking is what leads to divorce.

A new love

So have I blogged about my bird obsession? Yes, I'm obsessed with birds. The most-interesting person in the whole world could be talking to me and I'd still get distracted by birds. I fall off sidewalks because I'm looking at birds. And one day, I will have some sort of wreck from staring at birds. They intrigue me. And I don't feel like trying to explain myself because there probably is no explanation.

I'm also obsessed with wing sauce. This would be my new love. I put it on pretty much everything. And I don't care if you think I'm weird coz it's great.

Prombiance was in the air

Yes, we went to prom last night. We hosted an EE (environmental educator) prom for all the 4-H staff in Georgia last night. Sounds fun, huh?? It was. I got voted "Most Likely to Spike the Punch." My first superlative, ever. I was stoked.

My only complaint is that I didn't get any on prom night.

And I also caught that gorgeous brim. That'd be #2 for the year (isn't it kinda sad if you count the number of fish you catch?).

Bloggin, floggin

I haven't felt much like bloggin lately.

Easter weekend was awesome. Spent it at home. Every Easter the Wilson's do an after-dark Easter Egg hunt and this year was no different. All nine of us chilled in the kitchen while Rebecca's dad hid the eggs in the yard. Krista, bein Krista and bored, started fiddling with Jelena's key chain. About 2 minutes later I looked up as I heard an odd-soundin aerosol noise and saw a yellowish gas flyin out of the end of a plastic thing on the key chain. Yeah, it was pepper spray. It's surprising because pepper spray actually smells like pepper. I never would have figured that. Jelena bought the pepper spray to ward off scary dogs when she goes running but oddly, the dogs were the only ones who didn't seem affected by it. The rest of us hacked and coughed and laughed until tears rolled down our faces. Good times.

I caught a nice brim yesterday. Yep, the curse of the no fish caught has been lifted.

Oh, and I have officially caved into ALL of the evils of the internet: I'm a member of facebook and myspace now. Ekk. Peer pressures a bitch, what can I say?

Some people say, "Climb Naked."

I say, 'Climb Naked, Belay Drunk.'

My boss isn't a big fan of my motto.

Jelena just called and told me about some naked man on the side of the interstate...."Holy shrivled testiciles, Batman" were her exact words. In the words of the villan who dies in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, "Oh, what a world, what a world......."

Who's excited about Easter? Conejito fofo no quiero verte conejindo los ratoncitos, golpeandoles en las cabesas.......or somethin. Yeah, I sing little bunny fofo in Spanish. Back off, bitches. Anyway, Easter weekend. Always fun. Last Easter I was invited to a farmer's house in North Dakota for dinner. It's a nice memory from that nether-region.

So you remember how I'm bad at answerin the phones inappropriately? Well, today, while drinkin a beer (ok, like 45 mintues ago), the phone rang and I said, "Budweiser is the King of Beers." The lady responded by asking for Mandy Blank. She didn't skip a beat. Just asked. I'm hoping she thinks Mandy works in a bar right now. All I can say is queers rhymes with beers and I didn't go there. I wouldn't have meant it in a deragatory way, just to clear that up.

Mandy's twin is in town. Yep, craziness is happenin at the ROCK. And that's all folks.

Blow Hole

We had a good time in Charleston. Here's a picture of all of us at Fort Sumter. (I was the only southerner present)

So this week I'm teaching two classes. And they're both tomorrow. So what have I been up to at work these past few days? Monday morning: 4-wheeling and GPSing trails. Monday afternoon: GPSing challenge course elements. Tuesday morning: I belayed my boss-lady (aka Crystal, a gal pal) while she drilled screws into holds on the climbing wall...basically she hung in the air while I held onto the rope with both my hands and my harness (my jamaquack is kinda tender now....OUCH). Tuesday afternoon: me and Mandy broke out the huge ass auger and tried to get some holes dug.... Today: me and Mandy built a new element all on our own. Pretty much. Ok, so maybe we couldn't find a drill that could get through a tree and had to run over to maintenance. And maybe one of the maintenance guys brought his drill over and drilled the holes. Maybe. But if we had the right drill, we could have done it no problem. The rest was just us and some cable clamps, serving sleeves, cable, thimbles, an angle grinder, a wench, some vice grips, a socket-wrench, and some b.a.b. power. I'm tellin you...I'm tired.

But Lost comes on in 20 minutes, and I think Kate is gonna whoop Julia's ass so this is going to be good. By 10:45, though, I'm usually on the verge of droolin on a pillow. I wish they hadn't changed it to a 10pm show. Oh well, nobody's perfect.

I loaded all the Charleston pictures on my shutterfly page....they're kinda entertaining.

Contemplatin...

With 17 other co-workers, it's surprising how little gossiping goes on around here. I'm not saying I've never said anything about folks, but I try to keep it to a minimum--I just let it out when I realize I might explode if I don't do it soon.

Being not-quiet-freshly-single, I get asked sometimes by various folks at work if I'm lookin for the next-Mr-Nevena. Truthfully, no. Do I miss having that special somebody? Yeah. But, for the most part, I'm good with being single. I'm not up for dating random guys or getting into relationships that are headed for dead ends. I've got better things to do with my time, I figure.
I also get asked if I'm ready to settle down. I think that's kind of a silly question since I'm single. I want to be ready to settle down. I'm not sure I am, though. And really, a husband might be necessary to settle down in the terms they mean.

So I've been thinking a lot about what is it that makes a relationship sustain 10, 30, 45, 50 years of marriage. I think back to who I was 5 years ago compared to who I am today. I'm really not much of the same person. There's no way I could still be married to a person I would have gotten married to when I was 19. So how to people work it? At a resturant in Charleston on Saturday night I watched a couple at the table next to us--they looked like they were in their mid-thirties and had two little boys. They didn't talk to each other very much but at the same time weren't rude to one another. They didn't really seem to say much when the mom left with the sons while the dad paid. But it wasn't like they were fighting. It was just the normal everyday way of doing things. And I couldn't figure out if it was just their personalities, if they were tired, or if romance and passion check themselves at the door of a couples 5th anniversary.

It's not like I need candle light and roses at dinner every night. I'm not a die-hard romantic, really. But what girl doesn't love being swept off her feet from time to time? So I'm not delusional in terms of that. But I need somebody I can have fun with and have things to say to him even when I'm 70 and we've been together for several decades. I need somebody to be silly with. I've known Rebecca for 20 years and we still have a blast together.

Working these seasonal jobs gives me the opportunity to meet lots of people. I've gotten pretty close with some of the girls I've worked with here at the ROCK for the last 7 months, but sometimes I'd do anything to just be back home around the people who know me the best. It's like I have the best time around my closest friends. I think a marriage should be the same--you shouldn't get bored with, use to, or take your partner for granted. I think the best friend thing is pretty analogous to the husband/wife thing.

Thinkin back on me and Rebecca's relationship the road looks kind of like what I figure a marriage would look like. We've had mostly good travelin, but we've had some culverts wash out on us, too. But we stuck it out. I love her completely. And I've learned not to judge her or form my opinion on what I think she should or should not do. I wasn't always like that. I think I had to grow into being like that or we might not still be as close as we are today.

I'm not sure what the secret of a lasting relationship is, but I do know that it doesn't include any jamaquacks.